How To Get Kids To Do What You Want - The Ultimate Guide

Getting kids to do what you want can often feel like an uphill battle. Whether it's chores, homework, or simply following rules, children often exhibit resistance in doing what they are told. As parents or caregivers, it is crucial to find effective strategies that can help motivate and encourage kids to cooperate without resorting to nagging or punishments. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore various techniques to achieve positive behavior in children.

1. Establish Clear Expectations

One of the initial steps towards getting kids to do what you want is setting clear expectations. Clearly communicate the rules, boundaries, and responsibilities to your child. This helps them understand what is expected of them and reduces confusion or misunderstandings. Use age-appropriate language and provide concrete examples to ensure clarity.

Additionally, involve your child in establishing the expectations. Allow them to provide input and contribute to decision-making. This makes them feel valued and more likely to adhere to the agreed-upon rules.

How to Get Kids to do What You Want: The Power and Promise of Solution-Focused Parenting

by Bill Crawford (Kindle Edition)

5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	2760 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	120 pages
Lending	:	Enabled

FREE

2. Offer Rewards and Incentives

Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool in influencing behavior. Offer your child rewards and incentives for completing tasks or demonstrating good behavior. These can be in the form of small treats, extra playtime, or even stickers for a rewards chart.

It is essential to choose rewards that are meaningful to your child. Tailor them to their interests and preferences to ensure maximum motivation. Gradually, you can decrease the frequency of rewards as the desired behavior becomes a habit.

3. Utilize the Power of Choice

Children appreciate having a sense of control over their lives. By offering limited choices, you can empower them to make decisions while still aligning their actions with what you want. For example, instead of saying, "Clean your room," you can say, "Would you like to start by picking up your toys or making your bed?" Both options lead to the desired outcome, but the child feels a sense of agency by choosing their starting point.

By giving controlled choices, you avoid power struggles, increase compliance, and foster a sense of independence in your child.

4. Make Tasks Fun and Engaging

Children are more likely to do what you want if the tasks are enjoyable. Find creative ways to make chores, homework, or other responsibilities fun. You can turn cleaning into a game, play educational songs during studying, or offer small breaks during tedious activities.

Consider incorporating visuals, colors, or even themed tasks to pique their interest. The more engaged and entertained they are, the more willing they will be to participate.

5. Establish a Routine

Children thrive on routines. Establish a structured routine that includes specific times for various activities, such as homework, play, and chores. Consistency helps children understand expectations and promotes a sense of stability.

Ensure the routine allows for breaks and free time, as too much rigidity can lead to resistance. A well-balanced routine creates a sense of predictability, making it easier for children to comply with what you want.

6. Use Clear and Positive Language

The way you communicate with your child significantly impacts their response. When asking them to do something, use clear and positive language. Instead of saying, "Stop running indoors," you can say, "Please walk slowly inside to prevent accidents." Phrasing your requests positively encourages cooperation and reduces defiance.

Furthermore, be mindful of your tone and body language. A calm and respectful approach will yield better results than shouting or resorting to negative reinforcement.

7. Lead by Example

Children learn by observing and imitating the behavior of adults around them. Therefore, it is important to lead by example. Show your child the behavior you want them to emulate. If you want them to be respectful, practice respectful communication. If you want them to be organized, demonstrate organization in your own life.

Remember, you are their role model, and the more they see positive behavior from you, the more likely they are to mirror it.

8. Encourage Independence and Autonomy

Children often resist doing what they are told when they feel a lack of control over their own lives. Encourage independence and autonomy by involving them in decision-making processes. Allow them to make choices within appropriate boundaries and give them responsibilities that align with their age and abilities.

When children feel a sense of ownership and control, they become more willing to cooperate and follow your guidance.

9. Communicate the "Why"

Instead of simply demanding compliance from your child, take the time to explain the reasoning behind your request. Help them understand the purpose and benefits of the tasks they are being asked to do. When children comprehend and appreciate the value of the activity, they are more motivated to participate.

Be patient and answer their questions. This will foster a sense of understanding rather than blind obedience.

10. Foster a Positive Relationship

A positive relationship between you and your child is essential for cooperation. Ensure you spend quality time together and engage in activities that promote bonding. Show interest in their interests, listen actively, and provide emotional support.

When children feel loved, respected, and valued, they are more likely to want to please you and do what you want.

Getting kids to do what you want can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it becomes a more manageable task. By establishing clear expectations, offering rewards, providing choices, making tasks enjoyable, and fostering a positive relationship, you can influence your child's behavior in a positive way.

Remember, it is important to employ different techniques and adapt them to your child's age, temperament, and unique needs. Be patient and consistent in your approach, and soon you will see the desired behavior becoming a routine.

Now armed with these powerful tips, go forth and confidently guide your child towards positive behavior and cooperation!

How to Get Kids to do What You Want: The Power and Promise of Solution-Focused Parenting

by Bill Crawford (Kindle Edition)

5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	2760 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	120 pages
Lending	:	Enabled

FREE

What is ‘solution-focused’ parenting, and how can it help you get your kids to do what you want? In other words, why should you read this book? The purpose of this book is simply to help you become more powerful and influential in the life of your child. Sound appealing? The approach is designed to help you focus your time and energy on teaching your kids what you want them to learn. In addition to helping you conserve and best utilize your time and energy, the solution-focused approach is also designed to minimize your child’s resistance to hearing and learning from what you have to say. This book isn’t about a miracle cure or magic potion that will turn your kids into little beings that hang on your every word, and live to do your bidding. It is simply a model for interacting with them in a way that: Keeps you from getting caught in a power struggle that puts you at odds with children; Shows you how to tap into your children’s internal motivation to hear what you have to say as valuable; Reinforces the values and qualities that you want them to have as adults. This book goes a long way to establishing the sort of relationship where children actually hear what their parents are saying, and even look to them for help and guidance!

How to Get Kids to Do What You Want is funny, practical, and hopeful. It is as valuable to teachers as well as to parents.